How long can I be strong?

It feels so strange that the pain that usually follows a broken heart isn't what I am experiencing this time. It's a calmness that is almost unnerving. I'm not even sure there will be a storm to follow. I have buried my heart as far down as it would go. I have nothing left in me. At 1 time, I thought my well of love overflowed or was neverending, but now..... I don't think I believe any longer. I think I have lost myself and I'm not even sure if I care anymore. As determined as the world is to break us, I haven't given up yet, but this burden only grows heavier daily.
While there is no pain, I have no appetite or desire to sleep. I have given too much of myself into loving others, I forgot to love me while everyone I surround myself with seems to have a similar loss of memory. Looking back and realizing how superficial most relationships I had given my kind of love to were, it only opens my eyes to my own hypocracy... as I will do anything for anyone, and I continue to sacrifice and hurt myself yet I expect for someone to eventually take that roll in my life when I refuse to take care of me.... that's very selfish. I have secured my loneliness and solitude with the decisions I have made thus far.
Wishing someone would know me from the inside out and won't give up on me is only that.... wishing. I'm not sure how I haven't yet given up on myself...